Chaos

I lie awake and am afraid
to return to consciousness,
a return to a world depraved.
While life is introduced
Life elsewhere is rubbed out;
Maybe our morals need a boost.

Hate, lust, greed
Filth, sin, and gluttony.
Sins, all!
How to sleep in an atmosphere
of drudge and dread?
My nights are fleeting slowly
While life outside is fleeting fast.

Cities deteriorate
and buildings burn,
taking the inhabitants
often with them.
To step outside is to
Sign one’s death certificate.
I’m hearing eulogies said about me
When I’m only supposed to hear them
When I am dead.
Am I a dead man walking?
Or am I a man walking among the dead?

Questions to answer,
None of which are regarded.
My head lays back and hits the pillow
Finally allowing me access
To a world without chaos.
(Even if only for a few hours. . .)